Although the pic is from a small, dark little room in Soho I rarely spend too much time in, last Sunday I was at one of my favourite pubs in Richmond - overlooking the beautiful Green. A refreshing change. England vs All Blacks (rugby) was on. Sadly, it turned out to be the worst defeat ever for England at Twickenham. Glad I wasn't there in person. I would have been had one of my closest mates - who is a huge rugby fan - not been away in America.
Anyway, on the train home I was thinking about more 'esoteric' things. I was on my own, which is often the case and I generally prefer it too. I have plenty of good friends, but I have come to value time to myself as well. In the pub I remember sitting in the most comfortable spot in a corner, watching the game, read the paper, and watched the crowd. A very, very attractive young lady came up to me and asked if I was 'Dave'. I wish I was, but had to confess I wasn't. She said I look a lot like Dave. She went on to say she had a 'lesson' with him that afternoon - which of course is quite strange, considering if you had just been with someone that very afternoon you would likely know them quite easily later on. I really wonder what sort of lesson it was - being a bit too shy and taken by surprise, I didn't ask. She went back to her chair, and was with another fella. I didn't know what to do. She had the cutest smile. She did catch my eye on and off and was, I think, flirting with me. So, who is this guy she is with? A colleague? Her brother? Her boyfriend? I felt awkward, but I was really very flattered all the same. I felt elated.
Another guy watching the match close to me had left his coat on a hanger right behind me. Toward the end of the evening, when he grabbed is coat - he told me I looked a little 'depressed'. That startled me - because I thought I was in top form. I certainly felt quite good about myself right then. It did make me think - a lot of people tell me I have a sort of an 'air of depression' about me. I am not depressed, not really - but I think I have a sort of demeanor that suggests I might be ever so slightly. Kinda like having the blues I guess. I don't know, but I really have to wonder about it. A lot of things really wind me up but not right then - I felt like Casanova. So why am I still blue? I think the guy is right - but I don't know when that really took root. When I was a kid I was the brightest, most carefree free-spirit there ever was. I am still stubbornly a free-spirit. Perhaps now there are a few things that I care deeply about that I didn't then - but for some reason the brightness is now tinged blue. Day after day.
